He’s Loved In Seven Languages

I wrote this fanfic some time ago, after discussing with a friend on social media some possible happy endings for the extraordinarily unlucky Alex Edel (in Anna and Joerg Winger’s Deutschland series). I wrote it before Deutschland 89 was made. 

This is set about 25/30 years after the end of Deutschland 86, determinedly avoiding the fact that Alex Edel and Tobias Tischbier are both quite likely to come face to face with Nina in Deutschland 89, or that Tim may never awake, and giving people happy endings whether or not they deserve them.

This story is dedicated to the late Sarah Hughes as it is partly inspired by her Guardian episode by episode blog for the first series, saying of Tischbier: “That man is so smooth that even his failures turn into some sort of success.”

Picture credit Tom Fournier via Ludwig Trepte (Instagram) Silence=Death (Act-Up)

Alex stood at the window, his forehead pressed against the cool glass, Tobias’ bed now empty behind him just as it had been on that first morning after. He didn’t know whether he wanted to cry or smash his fist through the window pane today. He did neither, however, centering himself instead and taking a series of deep abdominal breaths, just as he did in his weekly Mindfulness sessions at the AIDS-Hilfe centre. Who would ever have believed that Alex would end up leading Mindfulness sessions in his spare time?

It was stupid and irrational to be so angry after all. Each person has their time to die. And, as Tim had noted when they arrived, Tobias was so smooth that he managed to have everyone – including everyone he had let down or betrayed over the years, or at least the ones who were still alive – now sitting in his living room, weeping for him. Thomas Posimski had broken down during his speech at the service and Cosima had had to take over. Even that woman Alex had once waited for at the old East German Diplomatic Mission looked a bit upset. Only Stamm, or whatever he was called these days, had refused to come.

“Alex?” A woman’s voice came from behind him.
He continued to look out the window, not answering.
“Alex? People are asking for you. Are you alright?”
He breathed again and turned around. Katy was leaning against the door jamb, as beautiful and radiant as she always was. She wore her hair under bright coloured headscarves these days, wrapped East African style, tied in a knot at the back of her neck. A couple of stray curls, speckled grey now, peeked out around her face and her earrings were as large as ever. Ostentatiously ethnic, Tobias had mocked. For a supposed liberal, he really didn’t have a clue.
“Alex?” She held out her hand. “Come on, the kids are going to do their Things They Loved About Uncle Tobias bit, and they need you to be there.”
“Like his how to be a double-crossing Stasi agent stunt?” he scoffed.
“HVA. All that spy stuff just makes him cooler to them, you know that. Like you and Grandpa Jackson…”
They both laughed. And to think that Alex had thought it a coincidence to bump into Frau Netz all those years ago. When General Jackson walked into the maternity ward to see their new-born twins, Alex had felt his life rapidly descending into farce. “Well, how was I supposed to know you two had met?” Katy quite reasonably asked. “He’s not the only African-American in Germany. I told you my dad was in the US military. That’s why I was interning at the Embassy in the first place. It is the twentieth century, you know, I don’t have to have his surname.”
That had been years ago, and now their grown-up children were downstairs, hosting the wake Alex was supposed to be in charge of. He drew Katy into his arms and they held each other close for a minute. “I began to learn how to be my true self in this room with Tobias,” he said.
“I think you were the only person he could be his true self with,” she said.
As they went down the wood-panelled staircase, Alex thought how ironic it was that this beautiful house, the envy of anyone who visited, had been like a prison to Tobias. He had always seemed happier in his functional Berlin apartment until his last couple of years.
“I’ve grown to appreciate a garden,” he would say, holding Alex’s hand between his, as they sat on the steps where Alex had first reached out to kiss him.
“You really do have Daddy issues,” Tim would laugh when they came back in.
Katy and Alex walked out into the garden now, jasmine scenting the air. Their twins, Bethany and Felix, were setting up the microphone and looked like they were squabbling about who was going to go first. He and Tim had always wondered if they would be able to tell which of them was their biological father, or even if it turned out that they had fathered one each, but both children looked like their mother. Alex and Tim had offered to pay for a paternity test if the children wanted. Bethany had said that they were both their dads, whatever. Felix had just rolled his eyes and asked what was the point of them mixing their sperm together in the first place if they were then just going to get a DNA test anyway?
As Katy and Alex stood watching them, Alex felt Tim’s arm slip around his shoulder; he leaned back into him without needing to turn around. Katy smiled, then walked across the grass to re-join Khaled and their own boys.
For a man with no friends or family, Tobias hadn’t done too badly in the end.

Notes:

The title comes from Sade’s 1984 “Smooth Operator”.
The line “Each person has their time to die” comes from Fischer-Z’s “Cruise Missiles”, used at the end of “Northern Wedding” when Alex kisses Tischbier.

I  love how Anna Winger and her team write. I love the look, feel, news footage and soundtrack of the drama, and everything it evokes in memory (although Bronski Beat’s Why should really be Alex’s song – there’s not enough queer music in it). And, thankfully, unlike Annie Proulx, Anna Winger doesn’t seem to be averse to being fan ficced!

Amazing! Thrilled xxx https://t.co/5svPmnzqKS

— Anna Winger (@annawinger) August 3, 2019

Information about World AIDS Day here. 

You can find my thoughts on the decisions made about Alex in the final series here: We Need To Talk About Alex. For me, Alex Edel is as important to Deutschland 83 and 86 as Martin Rauch/Stamm/Kolibri is: I love the idea of the two sons of the divided nation, one from the East and one from the West; the way they travel, metaphorically, in opposite directions, from authenticity to inauthenticity (Martin) and vice versa (Alex); the way their story-lines interweave and interconnect myriad local and global issues from the eighties, from the Cold War, to arms dealing and South Africa, to the AIDS pandemic in Europe among gay and bisexual men. The latter is usually told specifically in the context of LGBTQ history/drama.

I also added a scene or two to Deutschland 89, episode 8. The way you do. Can You Tell Me Why? (Fan Fiction, title is a Bronski Beat reference) Both are part of my Vagabond series on Archive of Our Own here.

Part 1  of my reflection on Deutschland 83, It’s A Very, Very Mad World is here. Part 2, Sehnsucht/Nostalgia is here. Deutschland 86, Part 1: Africa is here. Deutschland 86, Part 2: Europe, is here. Part 1 of Deutschland 89, Afterthe End of History is here. They are all full of *SPOILERS*. All images may be subject to copyright and are used on a non-commercial basis.

My Summer of German Telly blogpost. Farewell My Concubine: Banned in China, 1993 blogpost.  LGBT icons: Johnny and Omar or Caroline and Kate? blogpost. Francis Lee’s God’s Own Country blogpost. There are *major SPOILERS* for Deutschland 89 in the comments section. Do not scroll down if you don’t want to know.